Explaining Autism to Your Child: A Step-by-Step Approach

Explaining autism to children and siblings

Parenting is a journey of supporting our children through life’s challenges, including navigating family dynamics and big topics as they grow. When a child is diagnosed with autism, introducing age-appropriate information about their diagnosis can help them better understand themselves and their place in the world. Still, you might wonder how to approach explaining autism—will it cause anxiety or self-doubt? Can they understand, especially if their language is emerging or they’re nonverbal? If you’re in the early stages of learning about autism spectrum disorder yourself, you’re not alone, and we’re here to help.

Talking About Autism and Embracing Differences

No matter how much you know about neurodiversity and autism, you are the expert on your child. Trust your instincts when deciding how, when, and what to share about an autism diagnosis. Children naturally form ideas about experiences like doctor visits or therapy, and talking openly about their autism gives them the chance to ask questions and learn from the people who matter most—you.

Supporting siblings of children with autism and fostering healthy family dynamics starts with open, positive conversations about individuality. Focusing on strengths related to autism helps everyone in the family build a positive view of their differences.

For preschoolers, start with simple, concrete examples like physical traits: “You’re tall, and your sister is shorter.” As kids grow, highlight personal preferences: “You love football, and your brother enjoys swimming.” By the teen years, emphasize shared values like honesty and celebrate what makes each family member unique. These discussions can help your family embrace differences and strengthen connections.

Guiding Principles for Explaining Autism

There’s no perfect age or time to talk to your child about autism, but starting sooner rather than later can make it a natural and ongoing conversation. Autism educator Dr. Stephen Shore suggests these 3 guiding principles for explaining autism to children:

Start early, so it feels like any other topic, and ensure your child gets accurate information directly from you.
Consider your child’s personality when deciding how much to share. Their curiosity, ability to process information, and social sensitivities all play a role.
If your child does ask questions, use them as a starting point—they’re often a sign they’re ready to learn more, even if they don’t always express their thoughts verbally. Even if your child isn’t asking questions yet, older siblings can join the discussion and support family dynamics.

Start with Familiar Examples

When discussing autism with your child, begin with something they already understand. Autism scholars like Dr. Stephen Shore recommend balancing strengths with challenges. Highlight their abilities, such as a focused interest: “You know so much about dinosaurs! That’s your superpower focus.” Remind them that others might not share the same interests, creating understanding about differences: “Not everyone knows as much about dinosaurs as you do, and that’s okay.”

Talk About Sensitivities

Frame autism through relatable experiences, such as sensitivities: “Loud noises can be tough for you. Some children with autism feel the same way. It’s okay to let people know when you need a break.” Explain autism as a spectrum: “Some kids with autism don’t use words to talk, but you love to chat about your favorite things.”

Find an InBloom sensory-friendly Learning Center near you.

Use Visuals, Play, and Books

For preverbal children, playtime and art are great ways to highlight strengths. Narrate their play and celebrate their interests. Find positive role models, like Julia from Sesame Street, or use books to foster understanding. Recommended reads include:

All My Stripes: A Story for Children with Autism by Shaina Rudolph and Danielle Royer
Why Does Izzy Cover Her Ears? by Jennifer Veenendall
Hello Roar, Little Dinosaur by Hazel Reeves
Uniquely Wired: A Story About Autism and Its Gifts by Julia Cook
The Superhero Brain: Explaining Autism to Empower Kids by Christel Land

For a full list of books, check out the Autism Parenting Magazine.

Make It an Ongoing Conversation

Explaining autism is not a one-time talk. Children need time to process and may revisit the topic weeks or months later. Maintain a positive and matter-of-fact attitude to reinforce understanding. Offer simple scripts to help them navigate social situations: “I have autism, which means loud noises can be hard for me. Sometimes I need a quiet place.”

Support Siblings in Family Dynamics

Involving siblings fosters a supportive family dynamic. Explain autism similarly to them by discussing both strengths and challenges: “Your brother knows a lot about WWII planes, but he might not realize not everyone is as interested.” Siblings may need time alone with parents and patience to share activities with their siblings. Resources like A Sibling’s Guide to Autism by Autism Speaks can help normalize these emotions.

Seek Professional Support

Consider involving a professional, like a therapist or doctor, to guide the process. They can offer objective insights and help your family create a supportive environment. At InBloom Autism Services, we provide caregiver coaching sessions where our trained therapists help families engage and understand autism. It’s a great opportunity to include siblings and other family members so they can ask any questions and or see how to engage with people on the autism spectrum. The Indiana Resource Center for Autism provides additional resources for families navigating this journey (linked below.)

Trust Your Journey

Your child’s understanding of autism will grow over time, just as yours has. Reflect on your learning process, and trust your instincts as you support your child and their siblings. Open communication, patience, and positivity will guide your family forward—just as Mr. Fred Rogers reminds us, honesty and effort are always worth it!

InBloom Autism Services specializes in early intervention ABA therapy for young children with autism. Our RBTs undergo training to develop a curriculum designed for children aged 18 months to 5 years old. Our Learning Centers offer a safe and enjoyable environment for children to learn and interact with their peers. Find a Learning Center near you!

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